Freeing Sonmi-451
by sunshinepostcard
Summary: The events in Neo-Seoul from Hae-Joo Chang's perspective. In progress. Cloud Atlas (2012).


A smattering of scenes/reflections from Hae-Joo Chang's POV, because I can't get my mind off how amazing and romantic and beautiful that story was. (ok, I also fully appreciated seeing a shirtless Jim Sturgess shoot lasers at bad guys, but that's not the point.)

I haven't gotten my hands on the book yet, and even though I've now seen the movie twice (ha I'm a dork) I don't remember all the dialogue/interactions exactly. So please bear with me if I get stuff wrong.

(In the apartment tower/hideout)

He found himself at risk of many things. Of becoming addicted to making her happy. Of letting his feelings show. Of losing his head when that was the last thing he could allow. Since the time in the elevator he had been careful not to touch her. She needed kindness and it was so easy, so wonderful, to allow himself to be kind to her. It thrilled him to the core to see how she warmed to him, to watch her shyness dissipate like mist in the morning sun. But at night he thought of her in ways that he didn't like admitting to himself in the morning. He wanted her, desperately, and that was simply unacceptable. He knew that her sense of autonomy was fragile at best, and that her psyche was still scarred from years of slavery, years of being told that she was inferior to others. (And what a deep sorrow, and what an all-consuming fury, he felt when he thought of this. How dare they! How dare they!) And now her safety rested in his hands. He was terribly afraid that she would discover his infatuation with her and feel obligated to... the very thought made him sick. He could not bear the thought of losing her trust. And so he tried to forget what her hand had felt like in his, and he tried not to flush with pleasure when she murmured his name, and he tried to resist his tendency to draw a little too close to her on occasion. He would sometimes resolve to act more distant and aloof, but this never lasted for long. At the slightest hint of hurt or self-doubt on her face, he would inevitably relent, and then she would smile at him, and then his well-thought-out resolutions would just cease to matter. Because she needed a friend, and he would be what she needed.

He awoke to feel her head resting on his bare chest. He was momentarily disoriented, thinking he had wandered into another fevered dream, but he found that her weight was too solid and warm to be imagined. Her gentleness made his head swim. What was she doing? Indulging curiosity? Seeking comfort? He wanted to open his eyes and ask her, examine her expression for clues, but he was somehow afraid that doing so would shatter this fragile, perfect moment. Instead, he stayed perfectly still and imagined that she loved him, that he would open his eyes and press his lips to hers and she would respond enthusiastically, her hands tangling in his hair, the curve of her body falling upon his chest...

He was startled awake by an alarm blaring in his ear. He had evidently drifted back to sleep with her beside him, and she was still there when he jolted upright. He met her startled gaze and found himself thrown completely off-balance by her expression - there was something in her eyes that was making his breath catch in his throat and his blood warm in his veins. Could she possibly - no, no, of course not - and yet, maybe she did... And his head was spinning and the alarm was blaring again and he then he realized in one awful second what was about to happen.

Adrenaline shot through his veins and he grabbed her hand to pull her to the window. He wished he had come up with a better plan than this, one less risky, but it was too late to re-think now. "She'll be ok. I'll make sure she's ok." He let his training take over as he led her out onto the makeshift ledge. "I won't let you fall," he promised her.

His mind, so hazy mere minutes ago, was now clear and sharp as a diamond. It felt good to rely on his instincts, to put all his focus and energy into protecting this one person who he happened to love. He held off the agents as best he could while they made their escape. At one point he pulled her into his arms as he shielded her from the laser blasts with his body, but he had no time to savor the sensation in the midst of battle. He saw a warship swooping towards them and panic began to break his concentration - there shouldn't have been so many of them, what if he couldn't hold them off, what if he let her fall - and then he saw her terrified face and realized that he was falling and it was too late and he was falling and then it all went black.


End file.
